Monday, 29 July 2013

David Letterman Jokes

"There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting."

"I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious."

"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."

"I love autumn in New York. The yellows, the browns and the rust...and that's just the drinking water."

"I cannot sing, dance or act. What else would I be but a talk show host."

"A woman in Buffalo set a new world record for eating 183 buffalo wings. I don't think there will be a second date."

"If it wasn't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever."

"It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said."

"New York...when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you."

"President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger."

"Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines."

"We can all sleep easy at night knowing that somewhere at any given time, the Foo Fighters are out there fighting foo."

"There is no off position on the genius switch."

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