"I'm not bi-polar, I'm bi-winning. I win here and I win There."
(About producer Chuck Lorre) "I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can't handle my power and can't handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words. Imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists."
"look what I'm dealing with, man. I'm dealing with fools and trolls."
"There's a new sheriff in town and he has an army of assassins."
"Every day is just filled with just wins. All we do is put wins in the record books. We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it's scary. People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view."
"I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people. People who aren't special. People who don't have tiger blood and Adonis DNA."
"If you're a part of my family, I will love you violently."
"There's a storm coming, and it's me."
"I'm on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body. It's too much."
"The only thing I'm addicted to right now is winning."